Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Most depressing sentence. Ever.

I’ve been working on a new short story. Which is kind of great because I have been feeling pretty costive lately and getting to that “I’m never going to write anything ever again” scary place with writers’ block. So, you know, yay.

Anyway, I had typed up a decent word count and it wasn’t really getting anywhere anymore so I figured I’d take a break and googlestalk Jodi Reamer. Big mistake. The result was about as good for my mental health as watching Trainspotting while being forced to run to exhaustion on a treadmill.

Jodi Reamer was the first agent I queried. I actually waited a week until I started sending queries to other agents (it took me about that long to realize it was pretty stupid to delay reaching out to other agents just because I hadn’t been rejected yet). I chose to query Ms. Reamer first because she is John Green’s agent and I hope, one day, to write with a fraction of the awesomeness of which he endows his books. Also, it doesn’t hurt that she represents Stephenie Meyer who made like a gazillion dollars with her Twilight series.

I sent in my query and sample pages in the beginning of September and I haven’t heard back yet. I enclosed an SASE so I would have expected a form rejection letter by now. So, unfortunately, her silence has engendered a sliver of hope. If she (read: her intern/editorial assistant) had decided that she was not interested in seeing my full manuscript I should have received my “Dear Author, Thanks for thinking of me but you kind of suck,” letter by now. Course, what it most likely means is that she just hasn’t rejected me yet.

In my googlestalking I found a link to the aforementioned Meyers’ website that contained a sentence that makes me want to find a sword to fall on.


“And that's how, in the course of six months, Twilight was dreamed, written, and accepted for publication.”


Six months????? SIX MONTHS?!?!?!?


If it weren’t for the fact that I really, really love my computer I would have proceeded to bludgeon myself to death with it. That she wrote the book in under six months really doesn’t faze me. Everyone writes at their own pace, blab, blah, blah. What kills me though is that in less than six months she found an agent and a publisher. AN AGENT AND A PUBLISHER. Three months down since I sent out my first query. Wanna place bets on whether or not I have a book deal by March?


I think I need a sedative.

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